May
08
Moving On - Building And Maintaining Relationships After Divorce
Filed Under (Health and Fitness) by admin on 08-05-2008

It’s been months - or years - after your divorce. You’ve made peace with your ex-spouse and built a new life alone. You keep up with your spousal support and child support payments, see your kids regularly, and have entered into a new relationship. Everything seems to be going well, until one day your obligations to your previous marriage start to interfere with your new relationship. Things come to a head, and you’re at a loss for what to do.

After a divorce, healing often takes nothing but time. Yet even after the initial pain of divorce has subsided, its effects may still linger. Dashed hopes and damaged emotions can negatively impact your future if you let them. Striking a balance between integrating and separating your past and present lives can mean the difference between a successful new relationship and one which falls apart.

Step One - Open Channels of Communication

Be honest with yourself and the people close to you. Your new partner has a right to know about your past and where you stand. Trying to keep a failed marriage “hushed up” only gives the impression that you are untrustworthy and have something to hide. Instead, let your partner know about your legal and emotional obligations to your previous marriage, but tell him or her that you are committed to your current relationship.

Step Two - Define the Rules

By being open with your partner, you have created an environment where you can both discuss the rules and boundaries of your current and past relationships. Together, you can find common ground on issues such as additional child support or alimony payments before they flare up. Define how much time, money, and energy you will devote to your previous relationship, and the time you spend in your current one will be that much more pleasant.

Step Three - Learn to be Diplomatic

Your current partner, your ex-spouse, your children - everyone involved or affected by divorce will have differing interests and points of view. Your job is to navigate these waters with the skill of a practiced diplomat. Try to see each issue from multiple points of view. Be prepared to compromise as long as it doesn’t violate the rules you have set. Adapt your lifestyle, your mindset, and your finances to your obligations.

To learn about divorce and its impacts, visit the website of Austin divorce lawyers Slater & Kennon, LLP, at http://www.slaterkennon.com.

Joseph Devine

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